Author Life

Everyone has that story—the one where they tell you they’ve always wanted to do something since they were a little kid. Well, this is mine. It started at eight, with a story about a young girl who wakes up in the middle of the night to find an alien portal in her backyard where the latrine should be. 

And I’ve been writing ever since. I finished my first book in 2010, at 24. Tried traditional publishing, but I was nowhere ready. Still wet behind the ears and full of ignorant assumptions, I knew nothing about writing craft or structure. I pantsed it all the way. 

I dabbled for a few more years before starting another novel. This one I published independently, but still not paying attention to writing craft or structure. Pantsing it all the way and damning whatever happened. There was where The Genesis Trilogy was born. 

Life got in the way a bit and I gave up writing. A cross between imposter syndrome and stuck in my personal Hell, I thought I’d never be able to devote myself to writing when my literal survival was on the line. I pulled down all publications and even threw away many of my paper drafts. I tried to drop off the map and dabbled in a couple of other industries. Went back to college, got a couple of degrees. But none of them stuck the way I wanted. Everything was too much for my introverted writer’s soul.

Fast forward a few years and twice as much trauma and I made it out the other side. I had a few nonfiction drafts I dabbled in, none of them finished. Last fall, I started another fiction manuscript (currently on the back burner – still a live project) until March of this year (2022). This one was an attempt to process all the pain and the trauma still swirling around in my years later. But it was too much, and the passion fizzled out. It was too close to home, so I set it aside. 

I had another idea. Starting in March of ‘22, I began penning The Place We All Go and I’ve been working on it ever since. My life has calmed down, and it’s only through my writing (and running) that I can quell my anxiety and stress. I changed day jobs and got my life more aligned with my end-game goals. This time, I’ve done nothing but study writing techniques and story structure. 

I wasn’t bad before, but now I had a new mission. I was going to become a full-time author, come Hell or high water. And if this was going to be my career, not everything else I had done until now, then I needed to up my game… and fast. Through this novel, I’ve worked around the clock to progress the skills necessary while also recognizing that writing is still art. At the end of the day, it’s still a journey.

The author I was at 19 is not the author I am at 36. Even five years from now will see immense growth and change. I became an indie author instead of going trad pub. While I would like to outsource many of the tasks related to publishing and marketing, trad authors forget they still have to do a lot of heavy lifting. But the most important thing for me is my covers. 

Call it a thing. My deal-breaker. I must have complete executive control over my covers or I’m out. You can cut a scene, change a character name, or have me go to an event I’m not passionate about, but if I dislike even one thing about my cover, I’d quit—something damn near impossible when you’re under a traditional publication contract. They own you and your work.

So indie it is. 

They say that the thing you should do with your life is the thing that you would do for free and that’s always been storytelling. I wish I was more of a visual writer, seeing as how I started in screenwriting but gave it up to imposter syndrome. I switched to novel writing and then spent the next 25 years fighting myself. 

But I’m back and hope to see a great push over the next few years. My future self is counting on it.